Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Someone asked how I was doing today...

So I told them.


HI! Thanks for asking. Missing better days. But, on an up note, haven't had anxiety attacks or severe bipolar episode in a few weeks; however PMDD is back full force coupled with possible pre-menopause nonsense, leaving me weak & exhausted (have had two periods w/ daily spotting in between over past four weeks).  Currently in the market for walking cane, but seriously considering acquiring a snazzy wheelchair. P.S. fibromyalgia stinks! Also, missing health insurance.

OH! But great news... our girl is going to out East to school - got generous scholarships and merit awards, so will only have small amount in student loans - Good, because her dad's still unemployed... 18 mos. now. He's re-started job search, including looking on north east coast.  At this point, he should have left us for North Dakota by now, and I'll admit, stress about him leaving us again was starting to become difficult to cope with... the idea of me alone here caring for the kids and dogs, but this time without any kind of proper health management, was very scary.

Another thing I'll admit is, it also makes me angry.  I hate that suddenly it makes perfect sense to go to another state to try to start up a restaurant - something he hasn't had experience in for over 25, maybe 30, years!  My thoughts go to "Why the hell didn't he try harder after being laid off to do everything he could to support us... Do whatever he could to prevent dire circumstances we are in now?"  To me it seems he just doesn't care.  But, I have no idea his rationale.  To avoid argument, I don't ask.  For now, restaurant thing has been pushed back, leaving us to focus on our girl's high school graduation, proceeding with bankruptcy, and house foreclosure.