Saturday, August 2, 2014

Winging It

This post is a perfect example.  I came up with the title,"Winging It," a couple of days ago, intending to wing it.  Instead, I'm dragging.  Fact is, I dragged myself out of bed to write.  Yeah, winging it... I think not.

In the past I had a daily routine.  Now, I'm winging it?  When I think of wings, naturally, I imagine flying.  I'm so not flying right now.  It's more like time is dragging. Worse, like I'm being dragged around by those quail and roadrunners that I encounter every time I pull out of the driveway... it doesn't feel good.  In actuality, it is I who is dragging. I have to drag myself here, or there, but mostly, drag myself out of bed... this is bad. Having zero plan is a problem.

I could place blame on economics. I could resent the fact that my body doesn't work the way it should. But you know what, I'm gonna just admit, I cannot do change. I do not like change... never have. I wish I were more like my kids. I suppose this is supposed to be a gentler, less hectic phase of life, after all...

I think I'm doing it wrong.

Until tomorrow ~ Lil


This post is written for Day 2 ~ Creating Memories with August 2014 NaBloPoMo


Friday, August 1, 2014

Where's the Dictionary?

 The theme for NaBloPoMo August 2014 is MNEMONIC. I have to be honest here, I've no idea what the word means, much less how it is pronounced. Time to get educated.  Who's with me!?

I'll join up with you later because it's 1:20 am and I still have stuff to do before turning in. Be back in a few.

In the mean time
Please enjoy my recent vlog:
Five On Friday
August 1, 2014

Best thing about tonight’s THIS IS FIFTY Five On Friday vlog:
This thumbnail of me. 

Now, back to MNEMONICS.  According to my source, Oxford Dictionaries, it's meaning could not be more simply defined, "The study and development of systems for improving and assisting the memory."

So, let's start with the basics...days of the week.  Two people I know thought for sure today was Saturday. Alas, it is not. Sadly, for one of those individuals, they still have to be up early tomorrow morning for work... bummer, son. My mom has a standard monthly calendar posted in her kitchen in plain sight. How neither of these "kids" knew what today was boggles the mind. My son's calendar is posted as one exits the front door, for goodness sake. I don't use a desk or wall calendar, my phone has one, so I pretty much rely on that to keep me posted.  Currently, I'm kept on track because I administer my mom's daily medication. She has this giant segmented pill sorter that I fill up with a week's supply of meds. I have to go over tomorrow, to drop off her Sunday through Saturday supply.

Now, how easy is it these days to help keep track of the days of the week when there is no paper calendar at hand? Super easy.  We have calendars on our phones, date on t.v. guides, almost every site you visit on the internet has the current date (I think), not to mention the bottom right corner of the computer (on mine anyway), and for some of us, even on our watches (if the battery hasn't gone dead, like mine has). Easy, right?

I'm glad I had NaBloPoMo for July 2014 to help me keep track of the days last month. Participating in NaBloPoMo for August may have me bringing out my much unused daily-planner, and that's a good thing.

Can't help but be reminded of this at the moment..
Courtesy of OriginalScoreMusic.

Oh! I just remembered, 11:25... time to take my meds. Mustn't forget to do that!

Until tomorrow ~ Lil


This post is written for Day 1 ~ Creating Memories with August 2014 NaBloPoMo


Thursday, July 31, 2014


"Important personal events from my life from the last 10 years." ~ NaBloPoMo July 2014: Decade

Once... okay, maybe twice, I was perfectly okay with my husband coming to my rescue during those challenging, "... for worse," "in sickness..,"  "for as long as we both shall live." periods

Once, I grew up a kid.

Once I grew up a second kid.

And, once again, by year's end I will have grown up the last kid.

One year I witnessed the metal my boy is made of during that first year out of high school when he worked to put food on the table... without a single complaint

One year amazed by kid #2's strength to find it in herself to prepare for, submit scholarship application, and apply to colleges all on her own... she did it!

Often delighted in rediscovering kid #3's artistic talents, and being awestruck by her wicked smarts in the sciences and math.

~ Grateful for each child's determination, perseverance, and attention to academic demands.  They are head-and-shoulders above anything I ever did as a kid, especially where schooling was concerned. So proud to be their momma.

Restored relationship with my sister, and now thoroughly enjoying her company.

Participating in care of my mom since moving to back to California; happy to help in any way I can.

Oh, and most importantly... once, back in 2009, I didn't die when my gall bladder did everything in it's power to try and kill me. Man, that was scary.

~ Your turn.

~ Lil


This post is written for Day 31 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge for July 2014 and NaBloPoMo.


Wednesday, July 30, 2014

How Many Days Hath July?

Thirty? Thirty-one? Let me check......


Not the best day.

I'll be crying myself to sleep tonight.

Tomorrow will be better.

See you then.

~ Lil.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Seven, Eight, Nine

Sitting here tonight, I'm struck with a sense of relief.  I had planned to write about where life had lead from 2007 through 2009, but I've changed my mind.  Actually, not much at all happened... more hardships loomed in the way of job loss for my husband,  and then the big, icky ball of wax that accumulates as a result of long term unemployment.

Midnight job searches with my Papa
I did my best to keep things as steady as possible for our kids - we had one child each in elementary, middle, and high school. They handled everything like champs... again. By the time 2008 rolled around, it would be just a couple of months in that a job opportunity came up for my husband - this time, out of the country.  Away he went, to somewhere he had never been and which language he did not speak. The kids and I stayed in the U.S. and tried to make the best of things. One of our favorite times were when we picked up "Dad" from the airport during one of his infrequent visits. Our pup joined us, we'd stop for a midnight meal before arriving home, and the stresses of being a stay-at-home mom with a displaced husband all just melted away, and I could, again, sleep soundly.

Meeting Papa at the airport
It was such a lonely time for me.  If it wasn't for one-sided dialogue with our beagle, I think I might have lost all conversational skills. What also saved me during those few years were sitcoms - mostly Everybody Loves Raymond, late night talk shows, British rom-coms, Jane Austen inspired films, and books. I also did quite a bit of writing, but had no idea about blogs back then. Now that I think about it, I was actually toying with the idea of writing children's books, and even crazier, thought about trying my hand at stand-up comedy. They had newbie nights at a nearby comedy club, and I wanted to give it a whirl. However, problem: I am not funny.  So, I was super lonely, but my husband was too. And, that's when this little guy rescued him...

Walking with Papa to el trabajo
So that was that.  The only other highlights were that I gained more and more confidence in the kitchen; while simultaneously losing weight!  Somewhere along the line I became proficient at meal preparations beyond routine dishes I had made over and over again throughout the years.  I think it also helped that the kids were older, and money was tight, so it was pretty much, "What you see is what you get." And what we had was good.

My happy place / office

A thought just crossed my mind, if I was to describe the first decade of the 21st century which was was reaching it's end, I'd call it the Groundhog Days... something had to change. And then I discovered Facebook and Twitter.

Well, for someone who didn't feel up to writing today's blog post...

Until tomorrow ~ Lil


This post is written for Day 29 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge for July 2014 and NaBloPoMo.


Monday, July 28, 2014


FACT: I have no friends.  Is that a weird thing to admit?  I have no friends... you know, real friends. The kind that call, or text I suppose, to ask if you are free to spend time out shopping or dining out, maybe even go to a concert or participate in a fundraising event like a 5k. Someone to call to check on if they are under the weather and ask if you could help out in anyway... and vis-a-versa. Friends who enjoy your cooking, or who likes having a visit to watch a favorite movie on dvd. There's none of that in my life, and it's been a good long time since I last recall those kind of moments. And, I must admit, I wish this was not the case.

In fact, I really enjoy the company of others, and relish having shared learning experiences in both small and large groups.  My problem is that I don't know how to change this; no clue whatsoever. I thought re-connecting with school friends on Facebook would prove helpful, it has not. In the five years I've been on Facebook, I've only visited with a couple of friends, and briefly at that. On Twitter, I thought I was making genuine connections with folks from around the world. That was a false sense of reality. Although, a handful seemed to provide a give and take in support and encouragement, I now believe it was more of expectation - possibly entertainment - as I struggled through hardships that I seemed to easily vent about on Twitter, usually getting tons of positive responses.  But that has now pretty much passed and I can't help but sense that my timeline was just a soap opera-type saga that tweeps got wrapped up in. I feel I let them down by persevering rather than getting to witness my life implode.

Of course there's the whole mental illness thing that people feel uncomfortable about, or worse, resistant to accept. People - family & former friends - I actually know believe bipolar disorder can be prayed away or something to that effect... after all, ignorance is bliss, right? Fibromyalgia brings with it an entirely different attitude... can I really be that sick, I look fine on the outside.  Oh well, there is nothing I can do to change others perceptions of life as I know it; my invisible illnesses are not conducive to sustained relationships outside immediate family - the ones living under the same roof with me.

Now that I'm fifty, I wonder if all hope is lost that I'll ever establish new, solid friendships. It's been over a year and a half since moving back to this area, and I have only run into one friend from my past here... a former boss. Yet still, this friendship is now reduced to the acquaintance providing  my husband's dental care.

Please do not feel sorry for me, I have my kids, dogs and a handful of relatives who love me "just as I am."  I guess I send out a certain vibe to potential acquaintances that says, "stay away." That's surprising to me, and I wish I could not be more wrong about that vibe. Maybe things would be different if I were smart, funny  thin, pretty, or talented... who knows. At least I have my reliable diversions in blogging, YouTube video viewing and Twitter for some sort of social interaction.

Now, my questions to you:  How much do you depend on social media for camaraderie? Does making new friends come easily to you? Any suggestions? Comment below, if the desire strikes.   Thanks for visiting my blog and reading this post all the way through.

Until tomorrow ~ Lil


This post is written for Day 28 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge for July 2014 and NaBloPoMo.


Sunday, July 27, 2014

Lil's Week In Review ~ July 27, 2014

Hey, hope you had a very nice, safe & sound weekend. Mine was average, but otherwise...  nope, mostly just boring. But, some things did go relatively well. Here's my week in review:


~ Photo of the Week

La Quinta, California
photo: L. Carilo


~ Stopped by my mother's apartment to check contents of refrigerator and pantry; determined from there, and with her suggestions, what needed to be restocked. Temps were in the 110+ range on Saturday, but away I went.  While at the grocery store I began to feel a bit out of sorts and thought I might have to bail on the whole things, but somehow gained strength to gather most items from mom's list, and even still have it in me to stop by Target to purchase the few remaining items on her list.

Mom's doing very well, and hasn't had a Type 2 diabetes related hospital emergency room visit in months. It's weird hearing from her physician that with proper and diligent self-care she could have a strong and healthy ten more years. If negligent and unchecked, her life span would be much shorter.  So, we're trying our best to make sure she's strong and happy and know she is very much loved so that she can be with us for as long as possible.
She also now has full control of meal and snack preparations, and is managing meal plan successfully. She does like that I make her pots of soup each week here at home for her to store in the freezer. Tomorrow, I'm also taking her tuna salad and portioned out servings of pasta sauce.


~ Mine: fine, no new meds prescribed; all is well with course of treatment I'm currently managing.
~ Mom: All's well with her meds. So much improved that I've modified my routine of bringing a daily supply of her meds to now furnishing a week's supply. First week went well; hoping same goes for this week.


My BlogHer NaBloPoMo Ultimate Blog Challenge for July 2014 has gone fairly well. Before taking on this task, my viewership was little to none. This month has had a steady stream of visits. I'm hoping to restart my vlogging project beginning next week... lots of content ideas floating around in my head; should be fun.


~ Most viewed post: July 4, 2014 
~ Least viewed post: No... enough said, right?


~ Carilo Family Movies*: Summer 2014 flicks that we watched this week, as selected from @EW's "...essential movies kids must see before they turn 13." were...

#32  The Incredibles
#33  The Lego Movie... EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!


~ This week's A How-To Guide visits from around the globe:

United States
United Kingdom

Yay, world!


Sunday ends with me trying to let go of being pissed off at the husband. This sleeping in this hot faux leather chair is for the birds.


is having bottles of Perrier chilling in the fridge.  Love my fizzy drinks. Ahhh...

Until tomorrow ~ Lil


This post is written for Day 27 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge for July 2014 and NaBloPoMo.