Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Getting My Funny On... And Off

Not a lot of people know this, but I once toyed with the idea of trying stand-up.  Yeah, I learned that they had newbie night at a nearby comedy club just a few miles up the road from where we lived in Colorado, and my brain goes, "What if..?"  My thinking was, "I could be funny."  So, I sat down to write some jokey stuff.  It was at a time that I was bored, therefore delusional... am I right?!?  I am SO not funny.

Sure, I was a bored housewife with a husband working out of the country and children well into their teen years who could pretty much manage on their own.  Of course I was bored!  So, at my usual crack-of-early-morning writing hour, I sat up in bed (dibs on the hubs pillows since he was thousands of miles away), grabbed my writing pad and pen, and jotted down a few lines, completely forgetting that I'd probably die of stage fright before even getting in my car to drive to newbie night.  But, I did have a pretty good plan, in case I actually stood before a mic.  I'd open "my set,"  (Aha hahahaha... I crack myself up.) and if I got even one laugh from the audience first minute in, I'd immediately say, "Goodnight"  and exit, stage right.  Is that how it works?  I don't think so.  Thanks for nothing, Snagglepuss.

If management permitted, I'd return to newbie night with the hopes of getting a precious second laugh two minutes in... and so on, and so forth. You know how long a watched minute takes.  Imagine two, three, four, in front of people expecting you to make them laugh? Torture, right?  It was so long ago - that I lost my mind thinking I could do stand-up comedy - that I don't even remember "my material."  (Aha hahahaha... there I go, cracking myself up again.)  I do recall my opening line though; I still think it's brilliant, a "show of hands," bit, as it were.

Something funny.  Before I knew what tonight's prompt was, just a few days back, I was racking my brain trying to remember that brilliant "bit." (Ha... )  Tonight, it came back to me just like the original stroke of brilliance did lo so many, many nights before.  I still think it's pretty good too.  It just may not be regionally accepted.  So there it is, comedy career over.

Guess what.  I eventually did make it to the comedy club - as an audience member. My son and I were treated to tickets to see the tiny wonder that is Wendy Liebman, we were her guests.  I love her for that, and for all the times she's made me laugh via Twitter, and I'll always forgiver her the times when Diet Coke is sprayed all over the computer screen.  I love that that night is one of those  mother and son "best time ever" memories. I love that whenever I have kooky ideas of doing comedy, my wild delusions... I mean, imagination, immediately goes, "Man, it would be so great to work in a sitcom writer's room with Wendy"  Then I imagine, "Good times, good times."

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Sick Day

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Sick day number one too many

Note to self:  When all better, and computer light no longer causing terrific eye discomfort, go back to today's BlogHer prompt. I like the story I have to share about the kindness of strangers.  Here's a hint:

I'm out.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Rock The Boat... Who, Me?

Why would I rock the boat?  I'll happily row a boat, but never will I intentionally rock the boat.  I'm not a fan of controversy, however that doesn't mean that I won't voice my opinion, or steer clear from an argument.  I just have to know whom I'm dealing with.   That being said, my online audience is very small and very kind.  I guess one could say this blog is a lesson in neutrality, which is a cop out in my opinion.  But here it is.

Now, I wish I were rowing a boat on a still lake in a piney forest, munching on crackers, cheese & fruit as I relish the sound of birds chirping, a ring of a tiny bell on a trailing fishing line hook bobbing along as fish nibble at a slimy worm.  Aw man, that sounds so good to me right now.  Maybe someday.

Tonight, I'm just gonna nurse this head and chest cold.  Good night.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Calling In Sick

Hey, me. No blogging.  Go to bed, you're sick.  And, yeah, you should have known yesterday, when it took you five hours off and on to do a couple of sinks full of dishes, and would break into a feverish sweat just standing up.  It was also dumb of you to go out shopping at, not one... not two... but, THREE different stores today.  I guess you didn't get the memo.

  Date:  Today
  To:  Me
  From:  Everybody
  Re:  Holiday Shopping Season
  ~ It's going on now.  This is a resort/second home/snowbird destination.  There are crowds everywhere. Old. Young.  Rich.  Richer. Old, rich & cranky.  Young, entitled & self-absorbed. *Damn, those late model, Maserati, Bentley, & Jaguars are NICE! And don't forget, it's Sunday, so many may be "brunch drunk,"  those 18 holes don't play themselves.  Clubhouse yum-yums, am I right? If they weren't buzzy from brunch, they were probably tipsy from cocktails.  You should have stayed away from the supermarket.  *Damn, everybody in the grocery checkout line had booze except you!*  Also, you should know by now that any direction you head in there will be mall/El Paseo traffic.  Deal with it. Or stay home.  Feel better soon.