June 7th ~ 24/7

Without proper medication for serious chronic illness and conditions, I feel sick 24 hours a day; seven days a week... probably until I die.  I feel like crap right now; had to ask my son to leave the room - well, kitchen.  One of the dogs is a bother whenever I try to load the dishwasher, so R.J. put him on a leash and sat on the window bench to help keep Sombra out of my hair.  But, that became a problem for me, after all, I am in constant pain or physical discomfort, as well as emotionally shaky.   It felt like I was being observed - scrutinized - and I became very uncomfortable.  Not to mention, the way I said it made me feel horrible: "Without my medicine, you sitting there watching me do this makes me very uncomfortable.  Sorry."  With that, my boy quietly got up and went away.  I hate this!

June 6th ~ I'm up... I'm UP!

I was up, and out of the house by 8:55 am today.  Holy cow... A miracle!  And... wait for it...  I attended Monday morning mass.  *Gasp*  It was great, in a, "Dear Lord, I got up and drove all the way out here for this?" kind of way.  I know... I suck!


I knew close to midnight last night that setting my Blackberry alarm to go off at 7:10 am so I could go to first church service of the day was a joke.  I only wake up at that hour to go to the bathroom and then right back to bed. That's exactly what I did too.  Big surprise though, rather than falling back into my usual near comatose state where I end up sleeping for another three hours (only to wake up miserable), I was stirred awake at 8:40... just in time to make it to 9:00 mass.  I was going to finally do it!  So I pulled my hair into a ponytail, washed my face, slathered on last drops of Oil of Olay, brushed my teeth, and slipped on my best duds:  black "airplane" dress and my comfy black "airport" flats - behind on laundry, also, nothing else fits... also, still trying to take off the additional 10 lbs I put on since Rick's been home.  Downstairs, took some Advil for terrible sore throat, double checked mass schedule, and out the door I went.


I was surprised at how warm it felt walking into the garage that early; felt even worse in the car.  Buckled up and engine on, I kicked on the a/c full blast, slapped on some Burt's Bees "Raisin" tinted lip balm, threw on the ol' Reno 911s and backed out of the garage into a hazy smoke-filled day.  Thank you, Arizona fires.  Not.


to be continued...

June 5th ~ I DREAMED I LIVED ON A TROPICAL ISLAND...

...Again.  Aaaaahhh!   No!  That can never happen again.  EVER!  Why?  Because this is what happened back in 2003, when we actually lived on an island - a tiny, one-school, no traffic lights, 2800+ population, 140 square mile Hawaiian island.  Yup... you read that right,  there were no traffic lights, no shopping malls, and no public transportation.  We relocated to a once pineapple-picking town, to a now resort hotels and world-class golf course dream destination, after having been clobbered by U.S. home-building industry collapse of 2002.  I was thankful Rick finally had found a job, however frightened and distraught after having just "lost it all."  It was like we had moved to a foreign country!  Culture shock dealt a mighty blow.


One of the first things we had to explain to our kids upon our welcome to the island was "ICE."  As in, "Mom, why are they having a meeting about ice?  It's frozen water!"  Us... smacking palm of hand on foreheads, "Ugh."  We had no clue what all the hubbub was about, but were immediately filled in... We had to explain to our 1st-, 4th- and 5th-grade kids what Meth was.  We were confronted with the state-wide awareness campaign against Methamphetamines, "ice," which was becoming epidemic on Hawaiian islands.  We had no idea why the hell "ice" was such a big deal.  We didn't know that "ice" was the name of a dangerous street drug plaguing our nation.  (Did I already mention us having smacked ourselves on the head?)


to be continued...