October 28th ~ Month End Friday Financial State of Affairs

First of all, must check bank balance. *Be right back*

10/28/11 Beginning bank balance  $2,094.96!

Wow, that's a lot of money!  Another three hundred bucks and I'd have a house payment.  This is a rare figure found in my checking account these days.

So, let's see now...  Out comes $1,205.60 (the double car payment promised to auto loan carrier to avoid repossession, while still behind on October 16th payment).

• $2,094.96 - $1,205.60 = $889.36

Bank balance now is still a whopping $889.36!  Not bad.  Next, pay past due utility bills.  *Be right back*

Bills due before next approved unemployment benefits... in two weeks.  (Unless Federal unemployment continuation benefits are not approved, then bills can be taken care of when we'll next have my Social Security disability benefits available - in four weeks.) :

       Water:                  $  154.68
       Gas & Elec           $  263.20
       Waste Mgmt        $    87.66
       Cable/Phn/Int     $  227.35
       Total Utilities      $  732.89

Problem!

•   $889.36 - $732.89 = $156.47

$156.47. That's not enough.  I'm still trying to make tiny payments on suspended Verizon Wireless account. And, food... we need food and gas.  By now it should be noted, collection correspondence and attorney summonses for everything from our delinquent home loan, credit cards to unpaid medical bills pile up... no solution there.  We can't even afford to obtain tax documents we recently had H & R Block prepare.... which we happen to need for filing bankruptcy - if there were a chance in hell we could afford to file.

*****

Ugh, reminds me, yesterday was terrible (but at the same time a huge relief).  We had to drive down to the courthouse to deliver precious copies of IMPORTANT documents we provided attorney at law office representing the homeowner's association currently taking legal action (rightfully so) against us for our failure to pay quarterly fees and paint the house (deemed necessary as determined by property review committee).  Had documents not been filled out and returned within 10 days, a bench warrant situation, on the grounds of contempt of court, would  put both Rick and I at risk of going to prison.  Equally distressing, having to ride in the car with Rick at the wheel for an eternal drive down to Castle Rock, return trip taking us way past our town's nearest freeway off-ramp all the way to Denver to withdraw money from our kids' "kid's bank" accounts for car payment, side trip for lunch pick up at L & L Hawiian BBQ (yeah, I deserved a special treat), and back home.  Three long hours.  Ugh, again.

*****

Time to get creative.  Must also consider November is a few days away, and I somehow have to come up with car registration and auto insurance premium payments due somewhere in there.  Keep in mind, we haven't made a mortgage payment since last February, so we've decided to do everything possible to make sure we don't lose the car - we are going to need it to live out of when the time comes, as we don't have anywhere else to go.


I hate that today's grocery shopping includes laundry detergent, toilet paper, hand soaps, paper towels, feminine products...  Hmmmm

So, deep breath.... breathe some more.  Pay phone, internet, cable, water and waste bills today, that'll leave $419.67.

Long distance drive this weekend will put a huge dent in our actual Food & Gas allowance of $156.47.  But it's for a school requirement and ya gotta do what ya gotta do.  Just remembered, still owe a $15.00 school fee.  Rats.

Oh, and by the way, Rick still hasn't found a job.  November 7th will be one year exactly since he was laid off.

*****

Some good news... We have a special event to look forward to.  We've been invited to Academic Lettering Assembly and Advanced Placement Scholar Recognition Ceremony at the high school in a couple of weeks, where Sarah will be honored for her outstanding academic achievements along with some of  her best friends and peers.  So proud of her.  I am so proud of all my kids.  Emily came home yesterday and mentioned that during lunch the principal praised her for being an outstanding student.  He stopped at the table she and friends were eating at and asked if anybody wanted him to check their grades; Emmy jumped right in with, "Oh, check mine!"  Love that about her.  As for the boy, he continues to impress his co-workers.  He mentioned yesterday that they all actually thought he was a college graduate.  He corrected them, saying he's "taking a year off before college." Thanks son, for helping bring money into the household with your part-time job.  I love my kids - don't know what I'd do without them.

October 26th ~ Quarter hour til tomorrow

It's late, I should shut this thing off.

It just occurred to me, things have changed... a lot.  I used to be so excited to sit down to write.  It's two years now since almost kicking the proverbial bucket - coincidentally, around the same time I started to make up my bucket list of the stuff I'd still like to accomplish in life.  Funny thing, tons of stuff came pouring out of my brain while I was in the hospital recovering from surgery.  I felt so good... alive.  I wanted to jump back into life as quick as possible.  Amazing I have not once been ill again like I had been before surgery - for so many years.  Thank God for sweet relief.  I was jotting down storyline notes and all the funny stuff that happened leading up to surgery, and in recovery - the entire hospital stay was pretty comical.  Wee hours of Fourth of July were spent listening to some old guy crying out in excruciating pain while cussing out hospital staff for touching him.... priceless. If I hadn't been crying out my own eyeballs from my own pain, I would have been laughing my ass off and stepped out of my room to see what all the ruckus was; put faces to all the chatter going on around the old man.  Wasn't long before I'd be feeling so much better than I had in a very long time.

My bucket list started to take shape as soon as I returned home.  Back then, it was made up of mostly family travel destinations, but there were some aspirations, like trying out stand-up comedy at DenverComedyWorks newbie night, taking drawing, creative writing and public speaking classes.  I know my desire of being a Montessori teacher could never be, due to the whole bipolar disorder thingy, so I was gonna be cool with maybe writing books for young kids.  I wonder where all those ideas went.

October 25th ~

Was finally going to go upstairs to have a long awaited shower... turns out someone had just put clothes in the washer... had to wait. When washer was done; water heater full again, I went upstairs to try again... someone had all the windows wide open... too cold. Now the dishwasher's going... I may never be clean.

October 23rd ~ State of Our Union... What?

Don't ask.

I did ask my husband if he sees himself working again.  He said, " I look for jobs every day."  Then I said, "What do you think you'll do?  Do you think you'll ever work again?"  Yeah, otherwise I would have killed myself a long time ago."  Uh... awkward moment.  I said, "Really, you'd do that to people."  He walked away, but not before asking if I wanted  huevos rancheros for breakfast, as we are lucky enough to have ingredients for a tasty mexican style breakfast.  I guess he was offering to make some. I said no thanks, but go ahead and fix yourself some.  I think he opted for a yogurt and took it upstairs to eat while watching sports on t.v.

That's  probably the only conversations we'll have today.  In the meantime I go about my typical routine: laundry, dishes, vacuuming, t.v., sitting at computer playing solitaire, reading articles and blogs,  and social networking.  I do need to take Emily to Target later on before I have to pick up my son at the bookstore.  So I guess I should spiffy up.

But first, I should eat. Our cupboards are near bare again.  Let's see... there is a half loaf of stale Home Pride white bread, 1/3 bag of Cap Cod reduced fat potato chips, and a couple slices of King Scooper deli chocolate, chocolate chip cake in the top pantry cabinet.  Bottom section has box of instant Quaker Oats oatmeal, a bag of LDS bishop's store donated cream of wheat, a couple boxes stale raisins, and two half full packages of Cheez-its that we got "free with purchase."  

Checking the canned food cabinet, I see one Progresso French onion soup can, three soup-at-hand cans of tomato soup, a large container of LDS bishop's store donated white rice, 1/10 bottle of pancake syrup, a small bottle of Hidden Valley ranch dressing and one bottle of Bulls Eye b-b-q sauce, and one jar with smidgen of Jiffy  Natural peanut butter.

As for the refrigerator, top, freezer section holds way past recommended "use by" date frozen veggies and fruits, a 1/2 container of Dryer's Slow Churned Coffee ice cream.  Bottom section:  The Mother Lode!  I think I found lunch!  There's three pots holding variety of left-over beans, a jar of El Pinto red chile salsa... just enough to spice up left-over half grocery deli rotisserie chicken I just bought out, 1/3 bag of Kraft colby-jack shredded cheese, and a pack and a half of flour tortillas.  Just also found a container of sour cream and a package of Simply Avo avocado halves, romaine lettuce, a half tomato.  Good thing we have stuff for the girls  lunch snacks for school tomorrow - spreadable butter, Yoplait Light yogurt with granola, and a couple of slices of various sandwich meats and cheeses.

All this food listing has made me way hungrier than I was when I started this post.

Deli chicken here I come!

*****

Damn!  The Pattern Interrogatories forms we were served with from attorneys representing our homeowners association last week (that are sitting on my desk, and must be returned within 10 days of receipt) just caught my eye... Appetite lost.