Rough patch. Not doing great. Yesterday was difficult; today is harder. It actually might be day three of fall from precariously "holding on" through life off of my meds mode. So on top of feeling very sad, I'm getting more worried and scared. The last time it was bad was last October .
Must try my best to shield my tears from kids.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Excuse my language, but.....
Fuuuuudge! No. I have to be honest here. F*CK! So frustrated and discouraged. Why? Because, husband and I happened to be in the same room, at the same time right now. So, while he prepared breakfast, I thought I'd ask if he had thought anymore about calling a friend of ours who had sent message of possible job opportunities (which provide on-the-job-training) he knew of that Rick might be interested in looking into. His answer, "Ummm... maybe." He said it with as much enthusiasm as when he answered, "Are you with us or without." * Remember, from the other day? * It is so not "All right, then."
Someone's trying to help and he's shrugging it off! Last week I learn that his online job search has become even more of a challenge as it seems he is now less qualified due to fact that many job postings ask for social media and apps experience that companies look for now. So now, on top of his industry being almost non-existent; his position seemingly obsolete, because he has no college degree, AND he's been unemployed for more than a year (not to mention, has gaps and company changes, and been laid off three times in last ten years), chances are all the more slim of him finding work anytime soon. Throw in whatever a credit check reports and forget about it.
This is bad.
Very, very bad.
*****
Not long afterward, his friend calls with business proposition: starting catering business in oil boom town areas of Montana or Dakotas. Hmmm... now I'm back at fuming. We have nothing. Less than nothing. We are $25,000+ delinquent on mortgage, about another $25,000 worth of debt in collections. Add those two up and probably total what we owe in back-taxes. We can't afford medical attention....and most importantly, we have children here to care for... how the hell is he supposed to dash off to start up this business! Even keeping in mind that the friend who called is one of the nicest guys I've ever met (Nice he and Rick have been best of friends since childhood), I can't help but go a little nuts inside while Rick gives me the low down.
So, I had to remind him of our earlier conversation. I told Rick to reconsider calling the friend with possible job leads and ask if he knew areas he might advise researching. I don't know what else to do.
****
Okay, so now I can't let this go... the idea of how would this even be possible? I've gone over in my head the whole, "You have my blessing to do whatever you want but part of that deal is we get a divorce." The only way I see this happening is we somehow have one year worth of his last salary to take care of current finances, and a second year's worth for 2012, and a third year worth to get much-needed work done on the house...has to be done if we expect to sell it. Finally, he'd need a forth year's worth to find housing and get business started
But, first you have to make all facts clear to your friend. You know you want to do this, so tell him what our situation is.
Now, while all this is tumbling around in my head, I start to think, "Wow, this would be pretty cool." They can actually do this, if you put aside all the rest of the depressing mitigating circumstance, they very well may have what it takes to be successful. For starters, Rick's a hell of a cook, especially short-order style. Two, they are best of friends and have shared love of fishing and camping... adventure. Three... IT IS SOMETHING!
So I'm also now brainstorming how would they raise funds; who might invest? I'm even going over my recipes in my head, of the cheap delicious foods that have been family favorites in these lean years. For example, I'd call the company that makes the salsa I use for my mexican chile recipes and if they'd consider investing. I'd call the guy who I helped share his Kickstarter food truck project. Possibilities seem endless. But not.
Someone's trying to help and he's shrugging it off! Last week I learn that his online job search has become even more of a challenge as it seems he is now less qualified due to fact that many job postings ask for social media and apps experience that companies look for now. So now, on top of his industry being almost non-existent; his position seemingly obsolete, because he has no college degree, AND he's been unemployed for more than a year (not to mention, has gaps and company changes, and been laid off three times in last ten years), chances are all the more slim of him finding work anytime soon. Throw in whatever a credit check reports and forget about it.
This is bad.
Very, very bad.
*****
Not long afterward, his friend calls with business proposition: starting catering business in oil boom town areas of Montana or Dakotas. Hmmm... now I'm back at fuming. We have nothing. Less than nothing. We are $25,000+ delinquent on mortgage, about another $25,000 worth of debt in collections. Add those two up and probably total what we owe in back-taxes. We can't afford medical attention....and most importantly, we have children here to care for... how the hell is he supposed to dash off to start up this business! Even keeping in mind that the friend who called is one of the nicest guys I've ever met (Nice he and Rick have been best of friends since childhood), I can't help but go a little nuts inside while Rick gives me the low down.
So, I had to remind him of our earlier conversation. I told Rick to reconsider calling the friend with possible job leads and ask if he knew areas he might advise researching. I don't know what else to do.
****
Okay, so now I can't let this go... the idea of how would this even be possible? I've gone over in my head the whole, "You have my blessing to do whatever you want but part of that deal is we get a divorce." The only way I see this happening is we somehow have one year worth of his last salary to take care of current finances, and a second year's worth for 2012, and a third year worth to get much-needed work done on the house...has to be done if we expect to sell it. Finally, he'd need a forth year's worth to find housing and get business started
But, first you have to make all facts clear to your friend. You know you want to do this, so tell him what our situation is.
Now, while all this is tumbling around in my head, I start to think, "Wow, this would be pretty cool." They can actually do this, if you put aside all the rest of the depressing mitigating circumstance, they very well may have what it takes to be successful. For starters, Rick's a hell of a cook, especially short-order style. Two, they are best of friends and have shared love of fishing and camping... adventure. Three... IT IS SOMETHING!
So I'm also now brainstorming how would they raise funds; who might invest? I'm even going over my recipes in my head, of the cheap delicious foods that have been family favorites in these lean years. For example, I'd call the company that makes the salsa I use for my mexican chile recipes and if they'd consider investing. I'd call the guy who I helped share his Kickstarter food truck project. Possibilities seem endless. But not.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Not the best day...
Spirits especially low when I dwell on thought that there is nothing that can happen which would immediately improve circumstances. Lack of motivation to improve situation proves we are not worth the effort; makes me sad.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)