Today in my little corner of the world...

I like to share these moments with my family and friends on Facebook & Twitter.  I miss them all dearly as we live so far away from everyone.   Wish they were here...

Oh My God... Problem Solved!

My Em - bottom left (2010)  Happy 15th Birthday love. 

Somebody up there likes me...   Just opened desk draw to discover $10 roll of quarters, which means my soon-to-be fifteen year-old will have a few things to open for her birthday on Sunday.  Thank God for "Free with purchase" $10 gift card offers we got from Target and Albertsons during Thanksgiving shopping too!  Not bad... now, all I need to do is pick up traditional tiny Carvel ice cream cake.

I'm not ready...

I'm not ready for whatever is supposed to happen here.  I. Am. Just. NOT. READY.

It may be hard to believe, but I am - at heart - a happy-go-lucky-person.  People have referred to me as goody-two-shoes, Polly Anna... spunky!  I've lived my life according to the "be nice" school of thought.  But lately, I can't help but consider karma as I wonder, "What the hell did I ever do to deserve this?"  Whatever "bad" I've done, I wish I could remember exactly when I did it.  Get a re-do, you know?  When? Where did I go wrong?

Or was the mistake somebody else's?  I was, after all, suggested be aborted.  I was most likely conceived by rape.

Hmmmm...  Things I think about while I sit here bored outta my tree!

I'm an idiot.

Thought I couldn't feel any worse today...

 ~ Follow up  ~ 


Another problem solved - THANK YOU, GOD!:

Found out Sarah's graduation cap & gown cost will be waived due to financial need status. * One less thing to cry about. *

******

But then this comes in:

Dear Parents of the Class of 2012,

As you know by now, the Class of 2012 will graduate on Monday, May 21, 2012, at 7:00 pm, at Red Rocks Amphitheatre. The next few months will speed by faster than you can imagine. Believe it or not, there are a few items that need to be taken care of soon, deadlines are not far away.

 FAQ's

Q. Does my student have to purchase a cap and gown from Jostens?

A. Yes, they are the designated vendor we use for caps and gowns.

Q. My sibling graduated from HRHS. Can I wear the same gown?

A. Yes, if it fits, by all means wear it. Seniors will need to buy a tassle and cap from Jostens. Souvenir tassles (with the bling) are not allowed to be worn with the cap and gown.

Q. Do I have to buy graduation announcements through Jostens?

A. No, feel free to design your own.

Q. Does HRHS issue tickets for graduation?

A. No, Red Rocks seats 9,000 people. We do not need to limit seating. HRHS provides special shuttles for guests who are not abled bodied and need assistance getting into the amphitheatre. Details about special needs transportation and seating will be published on the HRHS website in mid-April.

Please feel free to call me if you have specific questions about graduation. I will be placing more information on the website in the near future.

Deb McCormick

Principal's Secretary

*****

As if I could not be more depressed today... I emailed the school letting them know we do not have financial resources to cover graduation costs... feel bad that Sarah had to sit through an entire assembly going through stuff she can't have. Feeling like a major loser.

What a relief...

Barring unexpected expenses, next week I should be all caught up on monthly car payments... What a relief!

That said, still having trouble coping with current circumstances.  Phone rang quite a bit yesterday... creditors and debt collectors busiest time of year I guess.

Sleep's becoming nightmarish again; waking up a chore.

Feeling a huge useless waste of life, lost and alone... dead inside.

Tired and frightened.

Numb.

Low Point

Emotional low point happening.  I feel physically exhausted, like I cried the entire night while I slept.  But I don't think that happened; I don't even remember dreaming... and I always dream of something.

Hating myself for not doing everything possible to adequately provide for my kids' needs.

Slowly weaning off Twitter and Facebook and turning off TV just about doing me in.

Today's a bad day.