I feel bad

I feel bad because I'm forgetting how to be... simply, be.  I'm forgetting the value of a good laugh.

So what's different from last year?  Last year was this... March 2nd ~ Too Much Stuff To Worry About .  This year...  doing all I could to keep from crying as I sit  here.

Last year I had some fight in me and I think I just remembered why... my boy needed me.  He needed me to see him through the tough time he was struggling with.


(TO BE CONTINUED.)

First Anniversary

Today marks second of my blogs that's hit a year anniversary. (First one was deleted a few weeks back.)  When I started writing this one I never imagined this:  Can't believe I was stupid enough to think Rick would have found work by now, or that we would even still be in this house - I refer to it as squatting because, after all, haven't made the mortgage payment in over a year. I really hate this waiting game, although thankful bank has not thrown us out; I know exactly what that's going to be like, except this time without the luxury of us being rescued by a new job and place to go, complete with $20,000 hiring bonus, relocation and housing allowance - like happened with Hawaii move.  It will be all the more devastating. The memory of how things went in Texas last time around shatters my heart over and over again.  Anyway, I'll try to keep the blog going although, I no longer know which way is up, and have trouble stringing two proper sentences together. Even short emails to the kids teachers seem like torture.

That's all

Last year....

... when I started this blog, I thought maybe I'd lend voice and/or shed light on plight of Americans facing uncertainty due to joblessness and all circumstances that come with it.  A year later, come to realize, really, who the %&*# cares?

Also, these days, I'm finding my time is better spent reading blogs, than writing one.

Not to mention, mental and emotional collapse, and especially anxiety attacks, not at all helpful.

Besides, most days I go around in a disoriented fog.

It's windy, I'm cold...

Still haven't recovered from Saturday's all-night panic attack-appalooza.  Not a fun time.

Hope you're good.