Friday, June 24, 2011

June 24th ~ Friday Financial State of Affairs

Yea!  We have money to keep utilities on for another month.  This is good.  Another good thing (which I am a bit baffled by - not to mention, might be furious about later) is that my husband decided to make his resume view-able on job search engines.  I found this out after a long day out with the kids.  I set out today with this frame of thought:  When Rick worked and lived in Mexico, on days I had to run errands, I always had the kids with me... just in case.  If anything was going to happen to any of us while Rick was thousands of miles away, we preferred that we were all together.  Make sense?  We thought it did.  Anyway, we had a full morning schedule.  Me:  Church, with Sarah; dropping off  Sarah for volunteer tutoring at the library.  Me:  Picking up Emily & R.J. to drive Arj to Barnes & Noble for his first ever job interview (Went well; he felt good about it.  We'll know on Monday.).  Me & Emily:  Taking the vehicle in for oil change that we are finally able to afford ($30 special includes tire rotation), but it turned out I had to reschedule because of back-up at Parts & Service, and I didn't have time to spare.  Eventually, R.J.'s interview over, it was finally time to pick up Sarah at the library.  From there we drove to Denver to take care of kids' banking; Sarah got her own personal checking/debit card account!  (She's very good with her money and I finally re-paid a loan, which she used to open account).  Also, we are hoping her job search efforts pay off and that she's called in for interviews before school starts again.  Having an account available for direct deposits seems reasonable.  Even though it would still leave us vulnerable, having both big kids working would make it easier for them to get along without us.  Sarah has friends family's who could take her in so that her life isn't too disrupted (my darling 4.0 girl), I hope.  And R.J., he's done with high school, so like his mom many moons ago, he can jump right into life and see what happens.  (I wish we knew people to ask if he could rent a room or something.  It's hard not being near family.)  I feel the worst for Emmy, that we have failed her most severely, but she also has dozens of friends who can maybe help in some way or another when the time comes.  I can only pray.

This is the thinking that keeps me up at night.  So when I got home and checked e-mails and discovered a flood of "letters of interest" from various companies throughout the U.S. that Rick had received during our morning out and about, I commented that it was unusual that there was so much interest all of a sudden.  He said he decided to make his resume view-able on job search engines, "Maybe that's why."  So I'm thinking hmmm... had he done this from the get-go, would he have been employed ages ago?  Would we have even gotten near this point?  This horrible, unsettling, spirit crushing point!  I'm not sure he "gets it."  Nope, I'm positive he doesn't get it.  Who is this person, is all I'm wondering.  What happened here?  I blame Mexico relocation experience & U.S. economy.  Oh, and I guess I can't leave out blaming myself; my chronic illnesses and emergency health scares during the past four years, as well as my medication and doctor bills eating up all our money.  Such a waste, I am.

Anyway... not looking forward to this, "Is this the best you can do?" can of worms to be further cracked.

I'm tired.

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