March 14 ~ Things I Did Not Find Time For Today

Each night before falling a sleep I run down the next day's to-do list in my head (always the same list - it's more like a try-not-to-forget list); by the time I force my eyes open next morning, the obvious has occurred, "What the heck was I supposed to do today."  Write a list, right?!?  I would write things down... but, I forget to.  I'm convinced going over my mental list is enough.  Will I ever learn?  Sunday night lists are especially challenging because my mental notes cover what needs to happen Monday through Friday.  Last night, I thought I'd keep things simple by focusing only on today, Monday, which didn't prove much of a challenge:

• Morning shower
• Breakfast
• Phone calls
• More phone calls
• And... more phone calls
• Check calendar for date and bills due

Accomplished... Nada.  Not that I didn't accomplish anything - it just wasn't anything on the list.

I didn't realize today was Pi Day, 3/14, until afternoon.  My daughter wasn't hungry at lunch because they had pie in trig class in observation of the value of pi = 3.14159... Fun, right?  I like that.  But I must call the school financial aid people and ask for help with A.P. test fees due at the end of the week.

I skipped breakfast, and had to save my shower for later in the day.  As for the phone calls... NADA.  Didn't make any; didn't answer any. *I did answer a text message from my cousin in China, after which I gave him the go ahead to ring me, so technically, I did answer a call.  His call made my day, so at least I was happier than usual this morning.


The one call I will definitely get to tonight is to the lovely woman from the area Mormon ward (who put together a food box for us at Thanksgiving) and ask if they are taking collections of clothing and toys for people in Japan.  I have tons of stuff which never made it on to e-bay or sold at either of three garage sales we've had since our financial struggles began.  I will happily release these items which are all in excellent condition to those in need and less fortunate than I.  Very glad my kids have always taken such good care of their clothing and belongings.

So, now, let me get things sorted out here:

1. Today is March 14, 2010:  Depressing because it's the day I sort out which bills need to be paid with next payroll deposit.  *Four and a half months since last payroll deposit.
2. It is Monday:  Depressing because moratorium from last Monday remains in place... no health insurance means no getting sick.
3. Being Monday and not having health insurance coverage reminds me that I must call the county health offices to ask where I can go for low-cost medical care and free prescription meds.  Depressing because I'm next up to run out and am not supposed to go off any meds without being under physicians care.  (I could die... I don't want to die!)
4. Back to the date, 3/14:  Depressing to not be able to make auto loan payment of $627.90, due on the 17th ~ feels worse knowing I couldn't afford to make February payment either.
5. If it were possible, I would make a late mortgage payment for $2,370.00 tomorrow.  Depressing because I would rather be able to make past due mortgage payments for both February and March.
6. Being that tomorrow is the 15th,  I'd love to be able to also make payments for all delinquent hospital bills, medical bills, and credit card bills. Thankful I paid every small personal loan before cash completely ran out.  Still depressing, but breathing easier because I don't owe friends or family members money borrowed.
7. Tomorrow:

• Call school counselors and ask about the program which provides money for students who cannot cover A.P. test fees.
• Call Tri-County Health Services about free healthcare services.
• Don't bother thinking about bills I am unable to pay.  There is only so much that can be done with a couple of hundred dollars... like, buying food and gas!
• Seriously think about humbling myself to ask someone to help us with next month's utilities.

Most importantly, try to forget how badly life sucks, right about now.  I am happy I was able to write today's blog.  That counts for something, right?