Today was a good day. Why? Because, I let the dark clouds shrouding our dwindling bank accounts, piles of unpaid bills, I-don't-want-to-do list, etc., lift so that I could just experience a regular old, unremarkable day. I spent minutes, maybe, wondering how my husband's job search went today. I checked in on my son's progress in cyber-school classes by making calls to some of his teachers. Things could be better; he's very behind in some English classes but he'll be okay as long as we stick with a work plan. For the most part, I was relieved to have some much needed peace of mind for most of my day. I even voluntarily left the house - without dreading every detail involved in just making it out the door! My mood was so pleasant that what little interaction I had with guy behind fresh fish counter at the grocery store put a smile on my face, which felt good.
If I were to give this day a stress level rating it would be - Low. Definitely, LOW. (Although I did forget to take my meds.) But now that dinner is over and we head into nightfall my head is beginning to numb as "stuff" starts to swirl around inside. Stuff like: How long until Rick finds a job. How will we get along without an income... Where are we going to go now that we have no way of paying for utilities... How much longer can I continue avoiding answering incoming phone calls.... Who should I call first... homeowners assistance agency, debt counselling service, pet adoption/shelter services, IRS, hoa, church outreach & kids' school counselors, temporary housing shelters... My mental to-do list goes on and on, but, my heart doesn't start breaking until I wonder how we'll be able to cope without our doggies... or how long will some of us have to go without proper medical care and medication... or what will become of our household goods and possessions when we can no longer occupy our home... AND MOST OF ALL... How hard will it be on the kids.
There are all kinds of self-help books out there for everything under the sun. But not for what's happening to families all over America, where, if you ask me, hunger and homelessness should not be an option.
If you know of such a manual, guide or plan, please, let me know. I'd give anything for a family life-coach to help get us through these trying times.