Monday, July 25, 2011

I guess I have a decision to make...

Today was supposed to be a good day.  Sarah will finally get a haircut.  R.J.'s scheduled to work.  Not sure if Em has plans to do anything.  But now it's going to be spoiled.  By me.  I'm not  prepared to shatter my family - the kids - since deciding that I can't take another day spent in my failed marriage.  Don't know who to call 1st - a priest, a therapist, the Mormon bishop whom I've gone to for counseling before.

I had plans for Wednesday disability deposits that go into my (and my girls) bank account.  I had scheduled a double car loan payment - so that we could keep our car  - to be debited from the account.  But now, I think I should cancel it, because I'm positive Rick will say leave.  We've all had it.  But, I will have to leave the kids.  I have no other choice.  I'll leave them their money which they will need for when school starts next month.  Then I have to figure out where to go for shelter.  I'm scared.  But it's the only way forward(?).

So scared.


  1. You know, if you had just put your house on the market and sold it and down graded your other expenses to necessities, you would never have had these issues and you could have saved your family, but not necessarily your marriage.

  2. Right? It was on the market for several months after my husband was laid off from job in Denver. Shut down in communication; "other stuff" has prevented action after November job loss. Wanna buy our house?

  3. Lil, I've just come across this blog tonight. After reading this post, I went back and spent the last several hours reading every post, from the beginning. All I can say is "WOW!" You've opened my eyes to how bad it really can get, and I need to quit being stupid and handle my own money better.
    I REALLY wish there was something I could do for you. As a mother, my heart aches for you. I am bipolar, left my marriage and home in the midst of financial struggle and horribly out of control mental illness that "wasn't that bad." I almost lost my son in the process. If you need to talk, I'd be happy to listen. Please hang on. Never give up. I know it's easy to say and very hard to do. I know. I even feel bad saying it. Someone once told me, "You never know how strong you are until you have to be." You, my friend, are the strongest woman I've ever seen. Please hang on. Don't give up. We're never given more than we can handle. blah blah blah. It all sounds stupid to you right now, but please try to believe it. ((hugs))
    LSherman1979 at yahoo

  4. Appreciate your taking the time to read the blog, Laura. It's pretty much a journal. Lesson learned: Nothing last forever.