Today was supposed to be a good day. Sarah will finally get a haircut. R.J.'s scheduled to work. Not sure if Em has plans to do anything. But now it's going to be spoiled. By me. I'm not prepared to shatter my family - the kids - since deciding that I can't take another day spent in my failed marriage. Don't know who to call 1st - a priest, a therapist, the Mormon bishop whom I've gone to for counseling before.
I had plans for Wednesday disability deposits that go into my (and my girls) bank account. I had scheduled a double car loan payment - so that we could keep our car - to be debited from the account. But now, I think I should cancel it, because I'm positive Rick will say leave. We've all had it. But, I will have to leave the kids. I have no other choice. I'll leave them their money which they will need for when school starts next month. Then I have to figure out where to go for shelter. I'm scared. But it's the only way forward(?).