I'm done... given up. I've given up on hope. I'm also trying to let go. Letting go of the whole idea of "God." (Should I still capitalize the word god?) I'm done.
Still, I got up. I got up to put a load of laundry in the wash because the kids need clean clothes for school and work. I got up to empty and refill the dishwasher. I got up to vacuum the stairs. I got up for some gum.
I had planned to get up to go to church this morning, maybe stop by the office to ask to talk to someone... I need to talk to someone... then I reminded myself, "That's just crazy talk." There's nothing anyone can do or say to change things.
I didn't want to get up. but I did. Now what?
I guess I'll take a look; see what's available after buying groceries to pay a utility bill or two.
*To be continued