Thursday, July 3, 2014

Move On, Plan Ahead

This month I commit to take a look back over the past decade.
This is how it looked then.
I never imagined that life would get anywhere near this...

This is Hawaii. This road once took us on a hilarious adventure, but that was in 2003. July 2004 was... Gosh, I don't remember; not any specifics anyway. Everything I wrote back then is in storage.

Ten years ago, that first complete calendar year spent on the island, was full of jubilant highs... finally a secure job for my husband; relief... the ability to again establish financial serenity; concerns... were we ever going to adjust to drastic changes to our "normal;" and scariest of all, emotional lows... my inability to manage health issues was wreaking havoc on our home life.

By October of 2004, I had to leave. The only solution to matters at hand was for me to return to the mainland, and attend to my medical needs. Back on the island, my husband began a renewed job search. The industry he worked in - homebuilding - was still in trouble and jobs were scarce. All I could do was promise my soon-to-be eight year-old that I'd be back in time to celebrate her birthday. Now, I'm not one to make promises to my children, but under those circumstances, that promise was made as much to myself as it was to my children. It would be unbroken.

I was only able to stay on the island a few weeks before my health began to deteriorate again... at lightning speed. I had promised my doctors that I would return to California to resume care. It wasn't until March 2005 that my family and I were reunited. I made one last trip to Hawaii. Our things were prepared for container storage and an eight week journey across the Pacific Ocean, followed by a moving truck delivery. We packed a few suitcases with bare essentials to restart our lives together in Colorado.

I can't help but sigh at that memory.  I was forty years old.  I do not miss my forties. Since turning fifty this year, I find I don't have much expectation for anything.  I do have hopes and dreams for my children's future.
So, to answer, "What do you think you will be doing 10 years from now? I hope my husband and I will not have to go too long without visits from our children. We'll grow a bit older along with our dogs. I hope to be smarter, life stable, sound in body and mind. I don't know.

As has been true my entire life, my wish is to someday have an English garden to spend my days in, and enjoy with family and friends.  Yeah, that's what I'd love most to be doing 10 years from now.

Until tomorrow. ~ Lil

This post is written for Day 3 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge for July 2014 and NaBloPoMo.


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