Not a lot of people know this, but I once toyed with the idea of trying stand-up. Yeah, I learned that they had newbie night at a nearby comedy club just a few miles up the road from where we lived in Colorado, and my brain goes, "What if..?" My thinking was, "I could be funny." So, I sat down to write some jokey stuff. It was at a time that I was bored, therefore delusional... am I right?!? I am SO not funny.
Sure, I was a bored housewife with a husband working out of the country and children well into their teen years who could pretty much manage on their own. Of course I was bored! So, at my usual crack-of-early-morning writing hour, I sat up in bed (dibs on the hubs pillows since he was thousands of miles away), grabbed my writing pad and pen, and jotted down a few lines, completely forgetting that I'd probably die of stage fright before even getting in my car to drive to newbie night. But, I did have a pretty good plan, in case I actually stood before a mic. I'd open "my set," (Aha hahahaha... I crack myself up.) and if I got even one laugh from the audience first minute in, I'd immediately say, "Goodnight" and exit, stage right. Is that how it works? I don't think so. Thanks for nothing, Snagglepuss.
If management permitted, I'd return to newbie night with the hopes of getting a precious second laugh two minutes in... and so on, and so forth. You know how long a watched minute takes. Imagine two, three, four, in front of people expecting you to make them laugh? Torture, right? It was so long ago - that I lost my mind thinking I could do stand-up comedy - that I don't even remember "my material." (Aha hahahaha... there I go, cracking myself up again.) I do recall my opening line though; I still think it's brilliant, a "show of hands," bit, as it were.
Something funny. Before I knew what tonight's prompt was, just a few days back, I was racking my brain trying to remember that brilliant "bit." (Ha... ) Tonight, it came back to me just like the original stroke of brilliance did lo so many, many nights before. I still think it's pretty good too. It just may not be regionally accepted. So there it is, comedy career over.
Guess what. I eventually did make it to the comedy club - as an audience member. My son and I were treated to tickets to see the tiny wonder that is Wendy Liebman, we were her guests. I love her for that, and for all the times she's made me laugh via Twitter, and I'll always forgiver her the times when Diet Coke is sprayed all over the computer screen. I love that that night is one of those mother and son "best time ever" memories. I love that whenever I have kooky ideas of doing comedy, my wild delusions... I mean, imagination, immediately goes, "Man, it would be so great to work in a sitcom writer's room with Wendy" Then I imagine, "Good times, good times."