Times are tough so I rejoice in what little there is to make things seem not as bad, like paying a bill. Because believe me, most days I feel nothing but defeat. Making - or worse, taking - a phone call takes a great toll on me. The calls that come in are from creditors, collectors, legal offices, etc., literally make me ill - physically and emotionally ill. Making an occasional call to a family member or friend, torture. Nobody wants to hear your sad, bad news about how things are getting worse. All I want is to hear a friendly voice, say hi, and ask how they are; hear all the good things happening with them. I hate that I only end up leaving them sad as they ask how we are doing. I want to tell them I miss them and wish I could see them. Everyone is so far away. Today I called Mom and my Rosie to share good news of R.J.'s new job. Glad Mom didn't have to be bothered by my all-to-regular tears, but destroyed that I couldn't keep from sobbing as I told Rosie how grateful I am for her help and that we may finally be able to re-pay her loan soon. She just said don't worry about it. I love my Rosie. She told me over and over again, "Don't worry. I love you." That's family, right.
To be continued... or not.
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