Tuesday, June 28, 2011

June 28th ~ Today's Bill Paid: H.O.A. Quarterly Fees - Late

Times are tough so I rejoice in what little there is to make things seem not as bad, like paying a bill.  Because believe me, most days I feel nothing but defeat.  Making - or worse, taking - a phone call takes a great toll on me.  The calls that come in are from creditors, collectors, legal offices, etc., literally make me ill - physically and emotionally ill.  Making an occasional call to a family member or friend, torture.  Nobody wants to hear your sad, bad news about how things are getting worse.  All I want is to hear a friendly voice, say hi, and ask how they are; hear all the good things happening with them.  I hate that I only end up leaving them sad as they ask how we are doing.  I want to tell them I miss them and wish I could see them.  Everyone is so far away.  Today I called Mom and my Rosie to share good news of R.J.'s new job. Glad Mom didn't have to be bothered by my all-to-regular tears, but destroyed that I couldn't keep from sobbing as I told Rosie how grateful I am for her help and that we may finally be able to re-pay her loan soon.  She just said don't worry about it.  I love my Rosie.  She told me over and over again, "Don't worry.  I love you."  That's family, right.

To be continued...  or not.

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